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Family Guy Quotes

Family Guy Quotes

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Family Guy is an American animated television series created by Seth MacFarlane. The series centers on the Griffins, a dysfunctional family consisting of parents Peter and Lois; their children Meg, Chris, and Stewie; and their anthropomorphic pet dog Brian.
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Top 10 Family Guy Quotes
  • Stewie: Yeah, I had a giant mobile put in the sky so I can sleep wherever I want.
    Family Guy ·
  • Peter: No! Anna Paquin boob does not count as real boob! That's like looking at a 12-year-old boy.
    Family Guy ·
  • Guns don’t kill people; dangerous minorities do.
    Family Guy ·
  • Stewie Griffin: Hey, Mother! I come bearing a gift. I’ll give you a hint: it’s in my diaper, and it’s not a toaster.
    Family Guy ·
  • Stewie Griffin: There’s always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it’s not so much that I want to kill her, it’s just, I want her not to be alive anymore.
    Family Guy ·
  • Stewie Griffin: You know, I rather like this God fellow. He’s very theatrical. A little pestilence here, a plague there... Omnipotence...got to get me some of that.
    Family Guy ·
  • Peter Griffin: Dear McGyver: Enclosed is a paper clip, a rubber band, and a drinking straw. Please save our dog.
    Family Guy ·
  • Chris Griffin: When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette up my nose, it tickles my brain. Hah hah hah...ow. Oh, now I don’t know math.
    Family Guy ·
  • Peter Griffin: And Joe, I’ve had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man you are. Since you’re half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can’t even measure.
    Family Guy ·
  • Stewie: I will not stand idly by while you abrogate my plans! You shall rue this day!... Well, go on, start ruing!
    Family Guy ·
  • Stewie Griffin: I want pancakes! God, do you people understand every language except English? Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez moi pancakes! Click click bloody click pancakes!
    Family Guy ·
  • Peter Griffin: All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split... And then one of you die.
    Family Guy ·
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