George Carlin Quotes
George Carlin is a great American Comedian. Find inspiration and knowledge by reading this collection of quotations. Go on, enjoy the list of George Carlin quotations.
George Carlin was born on May 12, 1937. Died on Jun 22, 2008.
Top 100 George Carlin Quotes
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The reason I talk to myself is because Iâm the only one whose answers I accept.
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it
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I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but Iâm just not close enough to get the job done.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
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I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
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