Asshole Quotes

• I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole.
  Morgan Freeman · Share
• Ok. You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole. Is this a pretty accurate description of our relationship.
  Chuck Palahniuk · about Love · Share
• Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes
  William Gibson · about Depression · Share
• Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
  Tina Fey · Share
• You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
  Larry David · Share
• Don't feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that.
  Haruki Murakami · Share
• Ignoranus:  A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
  Anonymous · about Ignorance · Share
• You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith.
  Greg Behrendt · about Love · Share
• What do you think you are, for Chrissake, crazy or somethin'? Well you're not! You're not! You're no crazier than the average asshole out walkin' around on the streets and that's it.
  Ken Kesey · Share
• 5:15 I have never put makeup on. It's hard. "You assholes are crowding my mirror space. Gimme some room, I keep smearing my blush." Everyone's glares at me. I feel like a gay homosexual.
  Tucker Max · Share
• THERE'S NO MONKEY BUSINESS ABOUT THIS ELECTION,' he told the voters. 'IF YOU'RE ENOUGH OF AN ASSHOLE TO VOTE FOR NIXON, YOUR DUMB VOTE WILL BE COUNTED––JUST LIKE ANYBODY ELSE!
  John Irving · Share
• But I do not do these things because we are family. I do them because they are common decencies. That is an idiom that the hero taught me. I do them because I am not a big fucking asshole. That is another idiom that the hero taught me.
  Jonathan Safran Foer · Share
• You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
  Greg Behrendt · Share
• We some asshole niggas, call us diarrhea.
  Lil Wayne · Share
• Plus, in one of his e-mails, the guy said he didn't like pancakes. What kind of asshole doesn't like pancakes?
  A.j. Jacobs · about Funny · Share

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